Soon we'll be found

It's a Sia kind of day, mellow but happy, tired but gratified, sublime. Sia is one of those artists that I can listen to time and time again no matter what mood I'm in. I find her music soothing and inspiring. Every song evokes certain feelings, and at times stirs in me something deeper than what I've felt before. If you haven't heard her you should definitely check her out.

I'm a bit sad over the possible demise of Escapeokc. Escape has provided me an outlet to write meaningful articles and have them published where I hope that someone can benefit from it. The articles I write are secretly titled "Memoires to myself", and they serve as reminders of the things that I've learned over the years. Think of it as a roadmap of how I got here.

Well I was pondering how am I going to be able to keep writing a new article every two weeks without ending up sounding preachy or repeating myself. Luckily I believe everything happens for a reason in our lives and something happened that hasn't forced my hand, but has left me with a moral decision to answer for myself. Let's explore what has happened without going into too much detail...

The publisher of the magazine has a personal feud with a guest writer. The guest writer doesn't follow the rules and ends up having his article never being published. The guest writer is angry and does angry things including sending emails to the publisher that aren't particularly nice nor flattering. The publisher then publishes one of the guest writer's emails causing a stir in the community and thereby in doing so changes the entire goal of the magazine. In essence he's made it acceptable to submit an article slandering another individual.

My morale dilemma: First I'll state that I'm not getting paid to share my ideas. I'm in it to help people and to write things that make people think. Second, I don't subscribe to drama, I really want to be a drama free zone and here we have drama being thrown in my face. Me being a writer for the magazine makes me feel like I have to choose a side thereby embracing the drama. I refuse to do so. I refuse to support a magazine that will slander someone else because the someone isn't happy with what was agreed upon. My opinion is that the publisher should apologize for publishing the email and telling the story. I truly believe that dirty laundry should be kept between the bedmates of those who made the laundry dirty.

Now I'm at a crossroads. I feel that I have contributed as much as I can to Escapeokc with my free thoughts. After that everything feels forced and unnatural, as in I'm taking on topics that I don't truly believe in. I refuse to write about something that I'm not passionate about. I knew that my time was drawing to an end, but am I done?

I think for now I am. I do not want to be associated with a magazine that isn't appreciative of the work that I do, that does not provide feedback to it's writer's so they can grow, and doesn't provide guidance on what the magazine is trying to become. I really don't want to be associated with a magazine that will use it's new found power to flame another individual. Read my stuff and you'll see that I'm about self empowerment and making the world a better place, and this latest drama is definitely taking it in a different direction.

So as Sia says "Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep, tonight don't turn away it's just there's nothing left here, to say, turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found."