not the eve of a birthday anymore

This day comes with understanding.

A friend asked yesterday, "how are you dealing with the flipping of not just one number, but two." At first I didn't understand the full meaning of the question. But as the thin veil of my Miller Lite lifted I realized that the underlying question had to do with "how am I going to handle entering a new decade?"

I've asked myself this question time and again, and by rote I responded something like this:

I am truly excited for the next 2/3 of my life. I'm at a place where I have finally come into my own. Everything that I've learned in my 20's, all the mistakes that I've made along the way, all of the excitement that I've shared with countless people, have made me who I am today. This chapter in my life is going to be the best chapter of my life. I'm happy to enter my 30's and I'm happy with who I am. I have no regrets for anything, if I regretted it then I regret who I am now. I love who I am now and I know that it's only going to get better as time progresses. I'm past the point of games. I'm past the withholding of my wisdom, I've learned a lot in my life and it is now time to share my thoughts and views and to be proud of those thoughts and views. So in answer to the question, I am truly excited to put the past decade behind me so I can be the Jason that I am meant to be.

There will be bumps in my road, there will be segments of the road that have been washed away with long treks back to make it around. But I will handle them with the conditions that I've made for myself. I will always smile and I will always be positive. That is what life is about for me. I will continue to share my positivity with others. My life is built on fun and having a great time with those that I meet along the way. As long as I continue to share, then I will continue to grow as a great person as well. This time is for me, and I get to share that time with others.

After a long self imposed break from love and relationships, after checking off the "to do's" on my lists, I finally feel myself again. And my goal is to never lose it again. I will not shy from the torch that I carry and I will carry it proudly. I will continue to bring good to the world with the honesty that is me. And that is the best gift that I could give to myself and to everyone that I meet in life.