Passing

Sometimes it takes death to wake the living.

With a recent friend's passing I find myself with a heavy heart and clogged mind. I've never viewed death as something to fear, it's a natural process in the evolution of life and all things pass in their time.

But this death was extremely unexpected. Just when great things were happening for him and the best years of his life were about to take hold and propel him into prosperity. He proved that life is just too short.

I keep grasping for a what happened. As if knowing the cause will prevent the sadness that I feel. But in the end, as I know is true, it doesn't matter because he is still gone. The only fact that does matter is that he lived, he lived well, he lived free.

Death happens every day, but this is the first time that it's hit my personal community. There have been passings before in my City. There's been passings of friends and family that I didn't know that well. There have been passings in the gay community. But never before has there been a death in the circle of people I know. Even if I didn't know him well the mark that he left upon me was strong. And with his death comes a true sadness for what's left.

I've made it through the first 1/3 of my life more unscathed than is worthy. During the course of the rest of my life I will face death in many forms and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. No one and no thing can prepare me for this; and I sadly say that I don't want to have to see it through. But to deny these things would be to deny life itself, and with my love of life shall come the acceptance of death as it runs its course.

Appreciate what's been done in life. Remember them for the lives they lived. And live like you have no tomorrow.

Every tomorrow brings a today when the sadness finally trickles away.